To talk, or not to talk?

Express yourself. It's what Madonna wants.

We’ve all experienced it (some more than others), the paralysis of speaking up. That moment when you know you have to say something, whether that be standing up for yourself in an uncomfortable family situation, expressing your emotions in a relationship, or having to have a hard conversation with your boss or teammate.

We battle with our internal dialogue of Do I or Don’t I? We create false narratives in our minds about how they will react and what they will say. In the head games and the self-doubt, we sabotage and undermine our own experiences, thoughts, and emotions to accommodate and be complacent to the other individual or group to ensure peace remains and the status quo is undisturbed. But at what cost?

10x that shit for women.

Particularly for women, there is this added sense of having to remain silent. We have been trained to be grateful, stay in our lane, and “not rock the boat.” Our role is one of passiveness and cooperation, and not of participation, particularly when it comes to standing up for ourselves and others, expressing what we want and what we deserve, or establishing any type of boundaries.

And when women do come along and have a voice, protect themselves, and stand up for what is right, many times, they are met with defensiveness, gaslighting, and vilification. Just read any history book.

Keeping it in hurts everyone.

It may seem like the easiest path forward is “picking your battles wisely,” and maybe this is true sometimes. But when we don’t express our emotions, ideas, thoughts, or concerns, we hurt not only ourselves but also our partners, our children, our peers, and our organizations.

Our silence turns into a missed opportunity.

By not speaking up, we miss the opportunity for growth and greatness.

• Growth and greatness in our relationships. Happier, healthier, more open, honest, and emotionally connected relationships. Deepening your love and compassion.

• Growth and greatness in our work. A more effective, intentional, collaborative, and passionate approach to how we work. Elevating both you, your work, and those around you.

• Growth and greatness in our organization. Increased dialogue, ability to tackle the hard things, openness to explore new things, and a deeper sense of trust, respect, and empathy. Connecting people around a shared purpose.

Did you know? According to research from Harvard Medical School, the stress that comes from unacknowledged emotions can lead to slow digestion, gas, bloating, vomiting, and ulcers.

Doing the right thing and speaking up is rarely the easiest thing. But I’d rather be uncomfortable at the moment than have to do with the prolonged discomfort of a crappy digestive system… excuse the pun.

Express Yourself like the Queen of Pop.

So, for those who have something to say, express yourself. But know that it is not just what you say; it is how you say it. Express yourself with intentionality, humility, openness, and with a collaborative mindset.

For those who need to listen. Truly listen. Seek to understand. Participate in this exchange with an open mind and without defense or a highly charged emotional reaction.

In a nutshell, we don’t speak out of fear.

“Our fears are more numerous than our dangers, and we suffer more in our imagination than reality.” Seneca, Roman Stoic Philosoher.

Everyone, regardless of their organizational role, relationship status, or situation, needs to remain committed to creating space for openness, vulnerability, and psychological safety. It makes everyone better.

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If you are looking for some new content, I also recommend checking out Creative Sobriety on Substack!